You're lucky I like you...

I think, fundamentally, we all want to be able to financially support our children. We usually want them to go further than us in life and not have to struggle the way we may have. Yet, when it comes to the subject of child support, this gets quite sticky.

I’ve represented clients on both sides of this issue and although New Jersey has guidelines that, for the most part, are pretty objective. The stickiness comes in when a parent’s ego is involved. Yes, it said it. Sometimes we put our needs in front of our children’s needs. I’m including myself, because I’m guilty of this too. This happens on both sides.

When I represent the person receiving support, for the most part they genuinely just want help in raising their children. As single parents, it is not easy to work and be able to provide for everything children need. To make matters worse, even when they receive child support, it is barely enough to cover lunch. However, there have been a few people who don’t understand how the system works and allow themselves to become frustrated and resentful. They want to ask for things that the law simply does not provide for.

On the other side of the coin, most parents who are required to pay would do so in a heartbeat. But, when they are frustrated with the co-parent, I get all kinds of heat. They don’t want the co-parent to benefit from the payments or they complain that they have too many personal expenses to pay for child support. Again, this is all a reflection of a lack of understanding of how the system works.

It is designed to provide what is in the best interest of the child. Period. However, this is not so easy to digest in real life. This is why education is so important. I want to make sure as many of you as possible understand how child support works in New Jersey. So, for this month’s Saturday Sidebar, I explained the Child Support Guidelines. I am giving you free access to it here. You’re lucky I like you.

You’re welcome!

Take care,

Lakisha

Can I Have My Pink Roses Now, Please?

This week I felt so blessed to be recognized by the National Hook-Up of Black Women (NHBW). This is an organization that serves so many women and children throughout the country through scholarships and programs that address teen pressure, domestic violence and so much more. I am so honored that they value the work I do and the people I serve. But, I was even more honored to be able to celebrate this with my family- especially my children.

So often, we celebrate the accomplishments people make in life after they have left us. We gather at their funeral in sadness and read their obituary to recall all they have done before. But, why do we wait for death? It felt amazing to be able to have my children sit across from me while having a room full of people acknowledge my hard work. Now my children know that what I do means something to others and has an impact on their lives. They understand how important it is to serve others through our work.

I even had family members who drove from out of state to support me. The love and support that was poured into me that night was enough to last a lifetime! It motivated me to work smarter and love harder. I love what I do and it felt amazing to share that with family and friends. Thank you NHBW!!

I know there are so many of you who are working hard and sacrificing for your families. No one ever stops to say “Thank you” or “I appreciate you.” Just know that I pray for you and I see you. You deserve your roses NOW too!

Take care,

Lakisha.

I'm Just Saying...

Welcome to my space. This is where I drop my two cents about what is happening in my life or happening around me. I try to create a safe, non-judgmental space for people to communicate with me. I have been practicing law for over 20 years, a mom for almost 17, and walked as a woman of color in this world, so please don’t judge me. There are times when I just need to release my thoughts and opinions without a filter.

With that said, this is also a space for open dialogue, so please feel free to chime in. I love to learn and hear about how life affects other people. I’d love to hear from you and get your feedback on the issues I discuss. I know I don’t stand alone and I value your support and opinion. So, stay tuned……