Watch Your Mouth!...

Teach Your Children They are Worthy In a world that is constantly telling children they are not enough, it is more important than ever to instill in them a sense of worthiness. Whether it be through the media, school, or even peers, children are faced with messages that tell them they need to be thinner, faster, stronger, smarter, and more successful in order to be valued. Negative self-talk can quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading children down a path of low self-esteem and poor self-image. One of the best things you can do as a parent is teach your children they are valued. This doesn’t mean you have to tell them they are the best at everything they do—in fact, it’s important to point out their flaws and shortcomings as well. What it does mean is that you should make an effort to listen to them, really hear what they are saying, and let them know that their thoughts and opinions matter. Just as importantly, avoid making comments that tear them down or make them feel less than worthy. While you don’t want to put pressure on your child to be perfect, you should encourage them to be their best selves. Help them set realistic goals and then give them the tools and resources they need to reach those goals. Encourage healthy habits such as eating right and exercising regularly. And most importantly, praise their efforts—even when they don’t succeed. It’s not about winning or losing; it’s about doing your best and learning from your mistakes. Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to treat others with kindness and compassion. Teach your children about the importance of helping others, whether it be through volunteering, donating money or goods to those in need, or simply treating everyone with respect—even if they don’t deserve it. The more compassionate your children are towards others, the more likely they will be to have fulfilling relationships throughout their lives. The world can be a harsh place for children—especially when it comes to messages about self-worth. It is therefore essential that we as parents take the time to instill in our children a sense of worthiness. By teaching them they are valued, encouraging them to be their best selves, and teaching them compassion for others, we can help our children develop into happy, healthy adults who love and accept themselves just as they are. We also have to remember that children watch what we do more than they listen to what we say. Make sure you show up in a way that allows them to be their best selves.

Take care,

Lakisha.

I Eat Fear for Breakfast….

I just wrapped up my quarterly retreat with my business mastermind in Phoenix. And while I was the only lawyer in the room, I wasn’t the only entrepreneur who struggles with mindset issues and childhood trauma that affects how I show up every day; especially in my business. If I’m honest, it is much easier for me to help my clients through issues than it is for me to help myself.

In keeping it 100% real with you, I have to put in the work daily. I have all of the things I advocate to you in my weekly posts - a therapist, acupuncture treatments, massages - but there is the deeper, core work that requires a deeper level of commitment to myself that I don’t always meet. My goal for this quarter and next year is to bring an even better version of myself to my business. I know this means I have to make some investments and a few leaps of faith that make me so nervous. But I have to remember that I didn’t get here without being afraid – I just did it anyway. Even though I may wake up with fear, I have to eat it and move on knowing that what is on the other side is better for me. I hope that my clients know how much they mean to me. I hope that you trust and support me as I grow this year. I will bring another attorney into the practice so that I can expand the way I serve you. So, if you see me or think of me, please send the love my way. I’m sending you mine every day.

Take care,

Lakisha.

You're lucky I like you...

I think, fundamentally, we all want to be able to financially support our children. We usually want them to go further than us in life and not have to struggle the way we may have. Yet, when it comes to the subject of child support, this gets quite sticky.

I’ve represented clients on both sides of this issue and although New Jersey has guidelines that, for the most part, are pretty objective. The stickiness comes in when a parent’s ego is involved. Yes, it said it. Sometimes we put our needs in front of our children’s needs. I’m including myself, because I’m guilty of this too. This happens on both sides.

When I represent the person receiving support, for the most part they genuinely just want help in raising their children. As single parents, it is not easy to work and be able to provide for everything children need. To make matters worse, even when they receive child support, it is barely enough to cover lunch. However, there have been a few people who don’t understand how the system works and allow themselves to become frustrated and resentful. They want to ask for things that the law simply does not provide for.

On the other side of the coin, most parents who are required to pay would do so in a heartbeat. But, when they are frustrated with the co-parent, I get all kinds of heat. They don’t want the co-parent to benefit from the payments or they complain that they have too many personal expenses to pay for child support. Again, this is all a reflection of a lack of understanding of how the system works.

It is designed to provide what is in the best interest of the child. Period. However, this is not so easy to digest in real life. This is why education is so important. I want to make sure as many of you as possible understand how child support works in New Jersey. So, for this month’s Saturday Sidebar, I explained the Child Support Guidelines. I am giving you free access to it here. You’re lucky I like you.

You’re welcome!

Take care,

Lakisha